Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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