good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
