After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
