Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize