Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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