On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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