he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
