her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it was like eating out sand paper
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
