You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
