So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
