i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize