my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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