They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
