I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
