I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
