so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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