8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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