I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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