My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
