I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
