the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
