butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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