Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
