what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
