You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
