i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
