If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This is my gift to your gina
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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