Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
