I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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