do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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