I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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