Where did you get a picture of my penis
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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