Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
