I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
