Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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