If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
either way he was missing a nipple.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
