After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
