sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The air taste purple.
Randomize