I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize