You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
