He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Bring me that man meat
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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