he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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