Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I can't put those talents on a resume
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
