You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize