I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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