Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
