alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No subtext here. People are naked.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
