Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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