He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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