it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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