Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
