This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think i have herpe
just one?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
