don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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