So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
