me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
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