marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
