If i could tip my vagina, i would.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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