no, he came in my armpit
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize