i think my mom watched the whole time
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
