I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
