Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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