why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
