Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
