it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
