Whod you bang
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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