Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
