its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
